“Finding My Voice” Part Two


There are times I prepare so well for an exam but unfortunately when I get to the hall I am shaken, discouraged, and hopeless without a clue as to what to put down. Just looking at how bad my handwritten is, is enough to crush me down. So many times I am not so confident of what to put down just because I am scared.
And how far has this gotten me to?
But now I realise that I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am now if I had not gone through all that I have been through.
I am changing rapidly and I believe I am not the me I used to be. Everyday I see a better version of the beauty within me.
I know better now to appreciate my flaws, my sluggishness, my laziness, my indecisiveness bearing in mind that all this plays a big role in my life.
I have come to work in my own strength and capabilities and to leave the rest to the one who does not halt. He created everyone alike and deposited in them great gifts and talents that would shape their lives and change the world.
The best way to work in God’s plan is by not being afraid of the person I see in the mirror. That woman is here for something bigger than her wildest dreams. There are times I would test God so I don’t get surprised when He does something in my life. I would imagine so many things He is likely to do but He ends up showing that He is and will always remain the man of the house. You cannot test God, He ends up testing you.
You carry fire in you that burns faster than ordinary. Challenge yourself to do things you have never done before but always want to do.
There is a covering over your life that only God knows.
At this point when I think about how messed up my life was
The depression and the near death experience. The many mistakes I have made. I believe someone stood the gap for me and I am only alive because of the sacrifice of that person.
It is okay if you have to cry
It is okay if you feel you still haven’t recovered from it all maybe because you are still struggling with the past.
Stop trying to open the door that God has already closed
That chapter in your life is closed and never to be opened again
Don’t go back to your own vomit..
All that has been on my mind for days now is this song by Micheal Washington, Healing Rain…
This song says healing rain is falling down and I am not afraid no more.
So have I found my voice yet?
I am not so sure but I am making a head start and with you and I running this race we will get there with lots of stories to be told.

  • Podcast cast coming up soon on this topic…

  • Will be away for awhile to prepare for my forthcoming exams. You might not be seeing much of me but I will definitely come back. This blog is like my baby and it’s really hard letting go for even a second. Please stick around
    It’s so hard to say goodbye…


19 thoughts on ““Finding My Voice” Part Two

  1. You words are magnificent. I feel like you are me. You know stuff about me I have not recognized until your words resonate deeply.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My strategy is a little different. I try to do as little as possible and let God do as much as possible, fight my war. This frees my mind of worries.

    I liked your observation that one cannot second-guess God. No matter how hard I try, God always behaves in the way that I had not even imagined.

    I used to keep a hanging rope ready for the day I was going to run out of money as my Plan B. But you can guess its time never came as Jesus would save me in the nick of time.

    My neighbors now watch with curiosity as I never go for job search. Jobs come to me, instead!

    When I feel too anxious to think, I take a couple of deep breaths. Helps a lot.

    Another tip: close your eyes and imagine a situation that gives you butterflies. Imagine a calm behavior and no panic on your part. Helps a lot.

    Wish you good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

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